The following is a review of "Watchmen" the film, not an examination of the plot's congruity with its graphic novel source material by writer Alan Moore.
"Watchmen" is a visually stunning film that might easily leave fanboys drooling about the attractiveness of the needless violence and sex it features.
But they might not notice that these Watchmen are nothing more than flamboyantly dressed action stars who fail to justify why they should be riveting enough to watch.
"Watchmen" explores the promising premise of what would happen if superheroes not only lived among humans, but used their extraordinary abilities to win U.S.-waged foreign conflicts such as The Vietnam War and maintain civil order at home caused by people who protest against their interference. A team of retired costumed heroes known as The Watchmen deal with the consequences of such actions in this film.
When a former colleague known as The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is assassinated in 1985, a very paranoid inkblot-masked man named Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) informs fellow Watchmen that the perpetrator might very well do the same to all of the team. As Rorschach investigates, he and three other Watchmen caught in a love triangle continuously recall their past actions that have brought the world close to the brink of a nuclear exchange between The U.S. and The Soviet Union.
Anyone unfamiliar with "Watchmen" will as a result quickly catch on to what is going on in this visual treat that allows its super main characters little time in which to demonstrate the tragedy of how they allowed the opportunity to make the world safer overshadow ethical values that are alluded to, but never throughly explored.
To be fair, The Watchmen spend a lot of time belaboring, but failing to illustrate that they are characters morally ambiguous enough to care about.
Meaningful character exploration is replaced by needless dry exposition that revels in Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup) showing off his blue penis and causing people to implode, The Comedian amassing a large body count that includes a pregnant Vietnamese woman and Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman) engaging in soft core sex with Nite Owl II (Patrick Wilson).
Instead of focusing on scenes that feature attractive exposition, gratuitous violence and sex for two hours and 42 minutes, "Watchmen" would have benefitted substantially if more time were devoted to explaining who The Comedian was before no one cares that he eventually tears up about his past sadistic actions, showing Dr. Manhattan as someone more than just a guy who throws a fit when his girlfriend ends their relationship, Silk Spectre as a character that does not only need to shack up with anyone who will take her in and at least somewhat explored Ozymandias in order for his one-dimensionally ridiculous plan to be of any interest.
Perhaps this would have helped to make Dr. Manhattan as a metaphor for God's harmful effect on mankind not seem so unexpected and hackneyed.
Most of the acting cast as a consequence does not have much to do other than look menacing or fashionable in their superhero attire. Haley is the only actor whose character Rorschach is allowed an opportunity to show how he became such a grumpily violent stalwart for justice, but this as well is reduced to one short, bloody flashback about his run-in with two bullies as a child.
The Comedian's assertion that "Life is a joke" is proven true in "Watchmen" because the film is about super powerful beings whose lack of character depth begs the question as to why they exist at all other than to exploit the success of Alan Moore's graphic novel. Fanboys who were too thrilled by Dr. Manhattan leaving blood and guts in his wake and Akerman showing flashes of her character's naked body against a moonlit background might disagree.
Popcorn rating:
(3 1/2 out of 5 pieces)
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