"Watchmen"Retired superheroes relentlessly recall how their gratuitous violence as government agents intensified the likeliness of Mutually Assured Destruction, kick ass and have soft core sex after one of their colleagues is assassinated in the 1980s.
"Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li"
Wealthy Chun-Li (Kristen Kreuk) learns to master the pain of losing her father by becoming the champion for the Bangkok downtrodden whom she cares little for when later pursuing revenge against M. Bison (Neal McDonough).
"Slumdog Millionaire"
Indian street orphan Jamal (Dev Patel) implausibly goes on a trivia game show to contact a woman named Latika (Freida Pinto) whom he hardly knows, but that it is assumed destiny dictates he loves.
"Frost/Nixon"Frank Langella's powerful Richard Nixon carries this overrated story about how British talk show host David Frost (Michael Sheen) and a ridiculously biased reporter are barely able to get the disgraced president to apologize for Watergate.
"Twilight"
A teenager, Bella (Kristen Stewart), moves to Washington and falls in love with a brooding poser, Edward (Robert Pattinson), and his functionally happy vampire family. Bella acts complacently bitchy to everyone else.
"Quantum of Solace"
James Bond (Daniel Craig) becomes another Jason Statham, kicking ass and hardly saying anything as he inexplicably gets over Vesper Lynd's death and stops Quantum's ridiculous plan to become Bolivia's expensive version of Aquafina.
"W."
Josh Brolin as an initially aimless, alcoholic caricature of George W. Bush who becomes a well-meaning, but maladroit politician in order to absurdly please his father. An abstract Dick Cheney (Richard Dreyfuss) becomes his handler.
"Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull"
How Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) owns up to marrying the woman (Karen Allen) he knocked up 19 years ago after finding the quartz skulls of shark-jumping inter-dimensional beings with his teenage son (Shia LaBeouf).
"Iron Man"
Weapons manufacturer Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) develops a slight conscience after being kidnapped by terrorists, so he builds a super suit to conduct U.S. foreign policy and save people that his armaments initially endangered.
"Superman Returns"Wannabe Christopher Reeves Superman (Brandon Routh) returns after an impractical five-year absence, goes emo for a married Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) and never throws a punch while getting beat up by Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey).
"Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines"
How John Connor (Nick Stahl) meets his wife (Claire Danes) while running from a sexy T-800/T-1,000 hybrid (Kristanna Loken) that brings about Judgement Day, making his and his mother's efforts in past films completely pointless.
